Sunday 20 March 2011

Sod's Law of Parenting.

  1. If you forget a set of spare clothes child will mess its pants or spill huge amounts of food/drink down its self.
  2. If you count your nappies on 'normal' use and delay buying more, child will poo six times in one day.
  3. If you have an early morning start and long day ahead, even if child has slept through for weeks, it will wake five times that night.
  4. If you are in a quiet waiting room or the like child will break wind very loudly.
  5. If you are running late and have lots to do child will not sit quietly and watch Cbeebies.

If you have more please feel free to add them below....
Posted by MUMRA at Sunday, March 20, 2011

25 comments:

  1. Katie20 March 2011 at 20:53

    Ha! If you run out of calpol, kids will get a temp.
    If you wear black, you'll get smeared in yoghurt instantly.
    If you wear white, they'll get chocolate on you.
    If you get an emergency doc app for poorly child, by the time you get there, they'll be fine.

    Oh this is a good one!!! X

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  2. Lou Strachan20 March 2011 at 20:55

    If you need to be somewhere on time, child will throw up down itself.

    If you need to do a 'quick nappy change' child will wait til nappy is removed then pee, thus increasing washing load by half.

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  3. Rebecca Volley20 March 2011 at 20:57

    If there is dog poo anywhere in the vicinity they will always veer towards it, even if they are starting out at the opposite side of the road, field etc to where it lies.

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  4. Steph20 March 2011 at 21:03

    Hahha oh yes.... Ruby broke wind extremely loudly during some prayers at her cousin's christening! She was sitting on my lap and it was so so loud I swear people thought it was me. I couldn't stop laughing.

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  5. Debsphe20 March 2011 at 21:10

    If you are on your way out of the door in work clothes and don't approach the breakfast table with caution, you will get yogurt on your black, dry clean only trousers.

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  6. DeliciousNessy20 March 2011 at 21:12

    If you sit down to eat breakfast/unch/dinner child will (delete as appropriate) wake up/cry/poo/puke

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  7. Mother's Always Right20 March 2011 at 22:18

    If child hasn't done a poo all day, they WILL wait until the minute the nappy is off and they are rolling around naked on the floor to let the whole day's food come out. On the carpet.

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  8. Deedee 20 March 2011 at 22:25

    If u plan a shagtastic nite the child will puke / temper tantrum / cry / poo or all of the above! All lust / romance u and your partner had will disappear faster than a ferret up a trouser leg!

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  9. missleslieanne21 March 2011 at 08:51

    If you wake up with a banging headche (self inflicted or otherwise), child WILL insist on playing with every noisy musical toy they own. Even though they haven't touched them at all in the previous week.

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  10. Tracey21 March 2011 at 13:16

    Your child will have the same deepest utmost wish for the ONLY gift that they would like to receive for christmas, for months and months right up until the week before the big day and the very same day that you have just purchased the said gift , then they will change their mind and have the same deepest desire for something completely different.

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  11. Bekidavies21 March 2011 at 13:18

    Your child will ask why you have a dynamite stick in your handbag (ie tampax) as you are passing through security.
    Your child will tell you that your legs need waxing in the loudest voice with as many people within earshot as possible.
    There are lots more!
    Great blog idea!

    ReplyDelete
  12. wordejaculation21 March 2011 at 14:18

    Just as you are walking into an important meeting at school or into the GPs office etc, most likely running late, you see her face go red with poo strain. Another few steps and you are surrounded by vile aroma.

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  13. mumrablog21 March 2011 at 14:29

    Ladies I am loving these... Keep them coming! x

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  14. Kelly_A place of my own21 March 2011 at 20:20

    If you need to leave the house on time, explosive poo will happen immediately before departure.

    ReplyDelete
  15. angelsandurchinsblog22 March 2011 at 10:55

    If you need to dress up for a meeting, wedding, night out - basically anything tot isn't invited to - they will wipe snot all over your shoulder.

    ReplyDelete
  16. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:27

    I've never had the pee when nappy is off one, yet!

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  17. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:27

    Dog poo magnets they are, especially between the ages of 5-10!

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  18. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:28

    I go really red when I'm embarrassed which just makes it look like it was me even more!

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  19. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:29

    I used to love doing facepaints on the kids when I was a nursery nurse knowing the kids would run to mums at hometime and smear there trousers in it! Mwahahaaaa....

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  20. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:30

    Not beige carpets are they/were they?

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  21. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:30

    Yes! WHY?

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  22. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:31

    So many times I've heard this from friends! Dreading her having a mind of her own. :-/

    ReplyDelete
  23. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:31

    Yes or ask if you have chickenpox cos you have a spot in front of a good looking bloke...

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  24. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:32

    Nice! Been there too.

    ReplyDelete
  25. mumrablog22 March 2011 at 15:32

    Yep and you only notice as you go in.....

    ReplyDelete

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