I always wanted to be a perfect parent, I even got paid to tell other parents where they were going wrong for a living so surely it was going to be a doddle.
Things immediately didn't go to plan. After three weeks my breastfeeding plans were over, Tabitha was losing weight rapidly and her temperament made it clear she was starving.
Next there was my terror at attending the health clinics and partaking in Mummy chat in general.
Little Miss Know-It-All then ended up pacing the nursery all night with a screaming child having no idea what was wrong. I had spent two weeks giving half doses of Calpol because I'd read the syringe measurements wrong and wondered why nothing was helping her teething pains.
I'd really wanted to be the vision of parenting perfection but I'm not.
I have friends who have fought on breastfeeding for ages and who are obsessed with their childs salt and sugar intake, who only want their child to go to private or church schools, who would be horrified if someone said 'shit' in front of their child. I don't lose sleep over these issues, school is years away, food is food, plans change.
Seriously though... Are their children any happier than mine? Are their children guaranteed better futures? I doubt it, some of the stupidest most miserable people I've ever met have been vegan privately educated fools.
I'll openly admit I can be a bit of a rubbish mum, we sometimes eat crap and sometimes we say 'crap'. I'm not ever going to start enjoying mothers mornings and music groups or stop going clubbing if I find the energy!
I'm not going to beat myself up about organic food or occasional swearing in front of the kids and if going clubbing means we are encouraging 'dad' dancing, so be it.
Striving for parenting perfection is a bore, being uptight is dull.
Chill out and enjoy your kids I say. Life's too short.