Saturday, 21 August 2010

Please don't hate me. I didn't sign up for this.


The older I have got the more I have realised that I suffer from something I can only describe as limited social skills. It is not that I am not good with people, I am. Having worked in some sort of customer/client based job for nearly all my adult life I've had to be.

I also have friends, honestly I do. I love those friends dearly and I love their children. They are people I want to talk to, talk about, ask about. Strangers and new people I just don't deal too well with.

I'm lacking in certain areas. It is mainly because I don't like a lot of people and I'm not very good at covering it up...I'm not a confrontational person don't get me wrong. I'm just not very good at faking interest or appreciation.

This has become more of an issue for me since having Tabitha-Lo. At parenting class Jay and I would sneak in and sneak out. We sat at the back, whispered, giggled and made up stupid stories about the other people in our group. The only thing we got from the class was not to turn up to the next one and hope no one noticed.

I am aware we sound like really bad people, we are not. I can't really prove otherwise right here and now but please take my word for it.

My first morning I went to clinic getting Tabitha weighed I sat with my head down playing about on my iPhone. Other mums were chatting about night feeds, telling birth stories. I was texting Jay telling him ' I am in hell'.

I know I need to address it, I want Tabitha to be a social child with lots of group activities to attend and I will have to take part in the school gate chatter at some point. It is so hard when you just don't care.

''Your sons how old? Does he sleep through? hmmmm reallly? Yes I know......Zzzzzzz. Sorry my head just fell off.''

Random people who approach small children in buggies are another issue for me. I get a lot of comments on Tabitha when we are out. I know its because she is a cutie and she blows raspberries but seriously! This is my shortlist of offenders....

1. Grannies who smell of wee or sherry and grab her face and call her a 'poor thing'.
2. Grandparents who fill you in on their grandchild/child ratio.
3. Teenage girls who say 'Oh My God! How Cute!!' a lot.
4. And worst of all the parents who talk via their slightly older child 'look at the baby, isn't she lovely, say hello'

I'm really sorry but when I had a baby I did not sign up for a lifetime of walking round with a fixed grin and a pocket full of happy chat.

Some people will think I'm harsh or a miserable moody cow.

I'm really not, I'm just out buying bread and milk.

56 comments:

  1. Lol you could have described me. I cannot be "fake" to save my life and it doesn't always do me favours sadly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thats so you Sarah and brave to admit. I agree I have those days when I wish I was invisible... you write it so well hun xx

    From Auntie Clare who still doesn't get the sign in thing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha, you have described new baby hell as I used to refer to it as when I was describing my day to Mr L. The people stopping you to talk doesn't get better it gets worse. Baba is now talking and it is a nightmare when we are out and he is walking. I hate it sorry to disappoint you xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Invisibility cloak would be fabulous, just whip it over when you see them heading towards you!

    I know it will be endless as she gets older. I must man up, pull out my GCSE Drama and act interested!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't do schoolgate - I home educate :)

    We too were the couple who sneaked out of the parenting classes. But I don't mind ppl talking to the baby. She's usually in a wrap so lots of ppl do talk to her, and me. It's fine. Ppl say the funniest things about the wrap though!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I bet ppl comment on the wrap especially the older ones...

    Mum had Tabs in town the other day and a lady felt the need to tell her ' she doesn't like to see babies in grey ' god knows what she would have made of a wrap or the like!

    I mean grey! on a baby, the horror! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I must be the opposite of you then, I love when people chat to me about the littlies, and I'm probably one of the offenders n your list, I just can't help myself sometimes... sorry! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I managed about 8 months of baby groups. Actually, no it was about 5 months cause I didn't start going until after Kai had stopped with the 24 hour colic screaming (cause THAT helps you make friends...) 5 months and then I broke.

    I could not do the super-mum smiley persona, I was not interested in making mundane baby-related small talk all the god damn day long, and I could not do the whole "is he sleeping through the night?" thing, especially as Kai was waking up about every 45 minutes all through the night. It just made me stabby.

    So I quit! And actually I started to enjoy motherhood a lot more after that. Me and Kai do our own thing, hang out with our friends from time to time, but avoid the big social stuff. It's not for everyone....

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. The best comment about a wrap has been to liken me to an african lady. I'm sure she meant well but I misplaced my eyebrows!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I wear a wrap - the best ever comment when she was tiny was..."Is there a baby in there?" NO ITS A MONKEY YOU IMBECILE!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I wear a wrap - the best ever comment when she was tiny was..."Is there a baby in there?" NO ITS A MONKEY YOU IMBECILE!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thats so you Sarah and brave to admit. I agree I have those days when I wish I was invisible... you write it so well hun xx

    From Auntie Clare who still doesn't get the sign in thing!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Harsh or miserable moody cow? ...ummm...anyone with kids would totally not think that of you...anyone with REAL kids, not those of the fictitious variety!

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