She still will not sleep. I sat up in bed this morning at 5am with a grizzling baby head butting me in the face and a partner rushing off to catch the 6am train and realised when I work full time this child MUST sleep.
I have always been a firm believer that parents have the power to make children the way they are with regards to sleep.
In which case I have seriously cocked up somewhere here.
I have been a routine freak from day one, bath, bottle, bed. No excitement after 6.30, no bright lighting, no toys in the cot. We have never managed to ditch the 3am bottle and now at 14 months I have visions of a very bad toddler approaching, bed hopping, wetting our bed and being a general pain in the arse.
Its my fault I know it is. I'm not saying this with the 'oh I'm a failure as a mum' tone so don't tell me its not my fault. It is.
Her nap times are all over the place, one day its two hours, others she skips it totally.
I am also rubbish at 3am. I hear a grizzle, I get milk and I feed her, I lay her down, then I lay down and wake up ten minutes later, she is asleep so I shuffle off back to bed.
The only thing I want to be doing at 3am is queuing for a kebab or a taxi.
My child has been given milk at 3am for her whole life and now I am unhappy about this.
I am an idiot.
Every night when she ends up peeing down my back and I end up sleeping in a toddler bed being starred out by Paddington, I will say over and over......
I did this to myself. I did this to myself.
Please don't say you are an idiot - I have done exactly the same thing with my child! But I feel it is the right thing - when she has asked for comfort, I have given in. And I have a huge stock of Touche Eclat to deal with the after effects :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha... Make up is our friend. x
ReplyDeleteI have the exact same problem. Milo woke twice last night and both times I gave him a bottle. He woke at 4 this morning and wouldn't go back to sleep so I brought him in with me to watch a DVD while I dosed. Everytime I put him to bed there is a struggle of screaming (which makes me feel horrid). I can't leave him to cry at night as he wakes up my 4 year old and he has school so shoving a bottle in to send him back off is the only way (although even that isn't working now!).
ReplyDeleteYou can change this, it isn't going to be easy, but you can do it. Start by giving only water at 3am feed, hopefully she will decide that she doesn't want water and start to sleep through it. If that doesn't work then there are other options out there. There will be loads of people along with advise
ReplyDeleteYou are not an idiot, because if you are that also makes me one (and I don't want to be one!)
ReplyDeleteMy son has only just started sleeping though in the last month (he is 20 months) and just before he did he was up every 20 minutes, I thought I was going to go nuts, much better now although instead he is up for the day at 5 / 5:30am *sigh*
Do you reckon its their star sign Naomi?
ReplyDeleteMust be even harder with another to try and keep asleep too.
x
yep i have been 'considering' the no feed option for a while.
ReplyDeleteI am so rubbish at night! I think i needed to write this post just to explain clearly to myself that this is in my control not hers.
x
Its a slog isn't it.
ReplyDelete20 months sounds good. I could last till then! x
Why are you an idiot? Why is it your fault your just meeting your child's needs? I know we have totally different parenting styles so I'm not going to be much use to you.When my eldest daughter used to get up at stupid o'clock I ended up leaving it to the husband to put her back to bed as I was fed up of sleeping on the sofa at 7 months pregnant.He just had to put her back repeatedly. Can you talk to your HV for advice? Sorry really want to help but much use as a chocolate teapot.
ReplyDeleteOh Sarah you make me laugh, I can relate so much to this post, baby head butting/scratching out your eyes while desperately pretending to be asleep at 4am.
ReplyDeleteGina ford is in the post, I'll let you know if there's anything in there that magically changes anything. I should really know what I'm doing third time round so if anyone is taking the idiot title it's me.
Here's to strong coffee and thick concealer x
I only say i'm an idiot because i really honestly now she is not hungry at 3am. I have made a routine for her and now i want her to just change it without me putting the effort in the re-programme the routine we have established.
ReplyDeleteIts is laziness on my behalf really. The HV says that i should let her cry it out and in a week she'll be good...
I think it is the star sign. I am thinking of letting hin cry it out just need to get some sleep first before I start the week of hell! BTW the HV told me not to let him cry for more than 1 min at a time it was taking me 10 mins to stop him srying once I was in his room then he would cry for a min and I was back in there lasted all night till I decided it was bad advice. Am sure I did controlled crying with Koby which worked but he never woke in the night can't remember my magic spell! We will get there one day. x
ReplyDeleteJust sitting in Belfast airport waiting for flight home and thought I'd catch up with facebook. You are certainly no idiot lady! Far from it. I remember Olly going through a patch of not sleeping through around this age and there was no milk involved! We finally worked out he didn't like the complete dark and that helped him sleep through. My point is that you will work it out with Tabs. Never beat yourself up for having them in your bed or giving her milk in the night. You can break her of the feed - she's a clever little lady - but you will probably have to perservere with her. The important thing is to do it when you're feeling you're both ready but I'd say do it before shes a proper toodler as they can become even more stubborn and strong minded. She will sleep through.xxx
ReplyDeleteUgh, we do anything that works at night time. I hear you sister. It's hard when you're worried about your other half not getting enough sleep when they've got an early start. So you go at the first moan and settle them the best way you know how.
ReplyDeleteWhen Dizzy was 13 months and the school holidays started I decided enough was enough and began sleep training. At that age, you're not teaching them that nobody comes, but you're teaching them to self settle, the way we do if we wake up in the night we just turn over and go back to sleep. You'll do it when you're ready, especially when you know you've got work coming up! xxx
yeah that is true i just use the milk to settle her cos its the easy option.
ReplyDeleteI must get it sorted before i start a job though, really should pull my finger out! *goes and makes tea*
She is doing a damn good job of stubborn and strong minded already which is scary!
ReplyDeletexxx
If you remember that spell i'll be waiting for a copy!
ReplyDelete